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Friday, December 10, 2004

Friday Fives

1. The world ends tomorrow and only you can save it - by appearing as a contestant on a Reality TV show. Which show would you pick. Why?(No, none, neither is not an acceptable answer. I would like to think I could save the world be appearing on "Last Comic Standing," but I don't have 15 minutes of really strong stand up material, so the world would crumble. As a show that I think it would be fun to be on, maybe the Amazing Race?

2. Armed only with a used deodorant dispenser, a hammer and some wood screws, and a hanky, craft a Charming Christmas present for Granny. I remember in first or second grade once I made a golden Christmas tree out of a card board tube and some dried macaroni - painted gold with spray paint. I did eventually give it to grandma. On further review it was quite an ugly craft and her acceptance of said garbage was a demonstration of pure love.

3. In the dream where you show up to school naked, why do you never go swimming? (haha, thanks I don't do well naked in crowds. I have dreams about this, terrorized at the thought of being before a group of people naked - and the taunting soon begins. What is with this world and its fascination with fashion? Maybe the cave people were right to wear only a few animal skins and carry clubs. Although that would take the fun out of Ed's shopping experiences. The boy loves his sweaters and an all naked society would put a damper on that.

4. Name the top five reasons you still believe in Santa Clause. 1. I believe in the low cost bribe that cookies and milk can achieve. 2. I believe that homes are safer if a fat hairy man can slide down your chimney - fire prevention is no joke. 3. I believe that a well equipped toy-centric society based in the North Pole is the absolute goal of any Utopia. 4. Santa exists because my momma says its so. 5. My father, GW, never had a Santa suit in his closet, verified after searching for Christmas presents on several occasions as a boy - ergo Santa must be the one doing the delivering. This is pure, scientific deductive reasoning and can't be challenged.

5. Your 15-year-old self runs into you today. What would his/her reaction to your adult-ized fashion be? "Wow, look at that gut! Dude, you need to step back from the keg and the caramels!" I think that guy would be a little disappointed that I am just another working drone milling away in a cubicle in an office park instead of a famous, artistic savant that I was convinced I was supposed to be.