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Friday, July 30, 2004

Friday Fives

1. What were you like in high school? How have you changed? I was the class clown. Really. Hard to believe, I know. I was the official master of ceremonies for most school events (pep assemblies, band concerts and stuff). I was really busy, with some school activity or an other almost every day of the week. Now, I go home and sit in front of the television and wonder where it all went so terribly wrong.

2. What are some of the worst meals you've had in your life? I like telling this story. While stationed in Germany, we found this pizza place off base in Stuttgart that delivered pizza to the barracks. It was owned by a nice Czechoslovakian family. We noticed that the menu included a burrito smothered in green chili. Living in Germany it is really, really, really difficult to get Mexican food, so we ordered it. Now let's review. Mexican food from an Italian pizza restaurant, made by a Czech family in southern Germany. Needless to say it lost a lot in the translation. It wasn't bad, in fact it was quite edible after a few flagons of good German beer. But it wasn't anything you would classify as a Green Chile Smothered Burrito.

3. What hand puppet is most, or least, likely to enhance masturbation? Least likely? Kukla, and Ollie. (although Fran might do the trick, but she wasn't a puppet, was she?) Any of the sock puppet family might do the trick, but more from a mechanical problem solving aspect rather than an erotic love aid.

4. What famous people did you have crushes on when you were growing up? I have always had a little crush on Julie Andrews. She was a hotty in Mary Poppins and The Sound of Music. And let us never forget my absolute undying devotion to Mary Tyler Moore in her fine roles as Laura Petrie and Mary Richards (growllllllll.)

5. How did you quit (insert addiction here, NOT restricted to drugs!)? I finally quit chewing my finger nails after many years of simply nubs on my paws by using an old fashioned trick. Tobasco and nail polish. A clear bit of nail polish to strengthen them and occasional bit of red sauce on the finger tips to quit chewing them. I quit smoking by no longer buying cigarettes and reading all the no smoking/quit smoking literature and statistics I could find. Once I began to grasp how terribly, terribly bad smoking is and how there are absolutely no redeeming qualities that come from smoking, I quit. But it was hard. Lots of cheating, lots of excuses to enjoys a bummed ciggie during a break at work. But now, four or five years later I am tobacco free and no turning back.