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this is what you shall do:: 07/01/2003 - 08/01/2003

Wednesday, July 30, 2003

Where The Hell Did My Job Go?

This caught my eye. John got laid off last week from his super dooper high tech job and decided to use part of his time off to follow the Secretary of Treasury and Secretary of Commerce and Secretary of Labor on their bus tour of the midwest as they speak about the economy. John's plan, to tell anyone who will listen that real truth of the economy - that it is rough out there. More at Metafilter

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This Poem Is Not Making This Up

Dave Barry has been called to task for his little prank at Poetry.com As I posted below, he challenged his readers of his blog to post at the poetry site with poems by Freemont with the phrase "And the dog at mother's shoes." Well, always ready to make a buck the Poetry.com folks (their major claim to fame is they will sell you an annual poetry book with your poem in it) have complimented Dave and his readers and have offered up some Barry inspired merchandise. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

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Recomendo Recommended

I think part of my fascination with the internet began with The New Book of Knowledge Encyclopedias we had as kids. Over time, I think I read the entire set, plus anything else on the family's bookshelf. In the middle 1980's The Whole Earth Catalog was published. I devoured this as well. It was like the web before there was a web, full of all sorts of articles and reviews of "Hey, look at this cool thing!" Kevin Kelly was one of the early editors and contributors to the Whole Earth catalogs and has continued it to some degree with his cool tools blog Recomendo. This is some helpful, tightly written stuff on some odd things you never think you might need or need to know. I especially like the reviews of documentary films. It is a small site but looks like is it is aimed to grow. Howard Rheingold does a similar thing as well. He was the editor of The Millennium Whole Earth Catalog. Some say that Epinions and Amazon kind of fill the void of these books, however they aren't nearly as well written and "Gee Whiz!" as TWECs were. And with the web, there really isn't a need to publish the books anymore, but there still is a need for a place to go to get a distilled advice on tools and ideas that will make the world a better place. Let's keep looking.

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Friday, July 25, 2003

Casting Call

I see no reason why all of us can't at least try to get past the Republican Women's Club luncheon and get cast in this montage of our boy king.

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Friday Fives

1. If your life were a movie, what would the title be? "Put On Some Pants"

2. What songs would be on the soundtrack? Jack Black - Let's Get it On What's it all about, Alfie Theme from the Flinstones Bob Dylan: Rainy Day Women #12 & 35 And lots of Foreigner, Journey and Kenny Loggins - for the ladies.

3. Would it be a live-action film or animated? Why? Live action but rated R, because I cuss like a filthy sailor.

4. Casting: who would play you, members of your family, friends, etc? Me? Bill Murray. Julie? Bette Midler Mom? A shapely Kathy Bates? Jim? Henry Fonda or Kenny Rogers in The Gambler. Ed? Edward Norton maybe? (Ed votes for John Cusack - a major celebrity.) Sage? Fierce contract negotiations are ongoing. Sandy Duncan will do it, for cheap. We really want Isabelle Huppert. but she is filming in Barcelona. Kathy Griffin has been nixed by Sage as being just too . . . We have settled on Christna Applegate, if we can just make the deal work. Apparently Megan Mullaly has been made available. Crisis averted. The gang? The cast of Buffy. They can fight it out amongst themselves.

5. Describe the movie preview/trailer. The phone rings. I am reading on the john. I stumble through the house, pants around ankles. Next scene: I am vacuming in my underwear, the UPS guy knocks on the door, I stumple putting on pants knocking down a bookcase. Next scene: driving to work, spilling food and coffee on my pants and I pull them off as I drive to let them dry out the window. Hijynx ensue. My life is almost exactly like a Mr. Bean episode. via Friday Fives

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Monday, July 21, 2003

What Inspections?

What inspectors? When I read this at this week's Democratic Underground's Top Ten Conservative Idiots I was puzzled again by the way Bush's mind works. Now, according the commander in chief, the reason we went into Iraq is because the weapons inspectors weren't allowed in (!?!!?):

Was it just two weeks ago that Our Great MisLeader lambasted "revisionist historians" for dissembling about what happened in the run-up to the invasion of Iraq? Because this week Bush proved beyond doubt that he is not merely a liar or a stinking hypocrite, but - worse than that - he actually has no fucking clue what's going on around him. During a speech last week about his "darned good intelligence" Bush came up with this gem: "We gave [Saddam] a chance to allow the inspectors in, and he wouldn't let them in. And, therefore, after a reasonable request, we decided to remove him." Now pardon me, but of all the lies that the administration has told during this affair, this particular one is 100% FIRST-CLASS TOP-DRAWER A-ONE BULLSHIT. Since George has obviously forgotten, here's what actually happened - the Iraqis did allow the weapons inspectors back into Iraq, and then they had to pull out because George gave Saddam a 48-hour ultimatum. I mean, have I gone mad here? This did actually happen didn't it? But let's face it - the most frightening thing about this latest lie is that I'm left wondering to myself why I know that UN weapons inspectors were in Iraq for four whole months before we invaded, and yet the President of the United States doesn't. I mean, this is only the pre-emptive invasion of a sovereign nation we're talking about here. So it would probably be nice if the leader of this country - the commander-in-chief of the military - could clearly remember decisions that he was involved in as far back as, ooh, March. And don't give me this "misspeaking" crap either. How the hell do you misspeak about something this important - something so relevant to your decision to go to war? It's a simple fact for crying out loud! For goodness sake, man, sort yourself out! You're an embarrassment! The hell? Is the goal just to keep coming up with stuff until we are just numb and don't even remember anymore? That must be it, because the press lets him get away with it. Stolen without permission from Democratic Underground

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Idiot Wind, It Is A Wonder . . .

I've been in a bit of a Dylan mood lately. These things can take a while to pass. You get caught up in the poetry and storytelling and the ease with which he puts together these amazing back up bands and the next thing you know you realize you haven't listened to anything else for weeks. Current obsession: Hard Rain, a live recording (and the only one issued by his label Columbia) of the Rolling Thunder Review. As one reviewer on Amazon put it - "suburban garage rock with the best lyrics ever written." This is a very raw recording. Dylan, at times very off key. But Idiot Wind, Memphis Blues and She's A Big Girl Now are great recordings of Dylan classics.

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Timewasters

Celebrate the dog days of summer with some flash animated shockwave games doo dahs.
  • Flyswatter
  • Paintball
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    Friday, July 18, 2003

    Friday Fives

    1. How many TVs do you have in your home? Three.    2. On average, how much TV do you watch in a week? About 20 hours. About two hours a day and then loads on Sundays. I work nights so the choices are slim. It would be much worse if I were home in the evenings. 3. Do you feel that television is bad for young children? Bad parenting and bad parenting choices are bad for young children. There is good television out there for kids. That said, I was raised in front of the television and in the words of Homer Simpson - " Mmmmmm, Tele-vision." 4. What TV shows do you absolutely HAVE to watch, and if you miss them, you're heartbroken? The West Wing, Friends, HBO's Sunday night stuff, especially The Sopranos, The Wire, Six Feet Under. And I am now taken by Law And Order Criminal Intent. 5. If you had the power to create your own television network, what would your line-up look like? TV Land! I don't know. Ed and I talked about an all sports rerun channel once, but now that is ESPN Classic (shakes fist). Tony and I thought a network of all television pilots, all the time would be fun. All the shows that never made it and the pilot episodes of current running shows. It could work. via Fridayfive.org p.s. this isn't a current list. After my posting about my dad, I needed something fun and light and not too personal.

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    To GW On His 66th

    The phone rings again. Elvis Costello's Almost Blue is playing in the back ground. A freshly poured cup of coffee cools on the coffee table. I stare at the phone. It doesn't get answered much. Usually a bill collector or some such. I am troubled by the phone. That is where the bad news comes from. I got call on a cell phone telling me we were all getting laid off. News of the death of both of my grandmother's came over the phone. And I found out an aunt and an uncle had passed away after phone call. Today is my dad's 66th birthday. I got the news that he had inoperable cancer on a phone call. When I got that news, in October, 2000, I just sat in the shower for a long time, crying. I shouted out loud "Dad, you can't die. I am not done showing you everything I can do yet." That thought is with me today and I think about my dad. He will have been gone two years at the end of the month and although the pain of his passing is still with me and very real, so are so many of the lessons and memories of his life. He taught me how to take a short cut up an alley. How to take the hook out of the mouth of a fish - and out of the ear of a particularly clumsy boy. He taught me how to change the oil and the most important metaphorical lesson one can learn in life "When changing the first brake, it takes a few hours, even a day. After that, the other brakes can be changed in about 20 minutes." I use that one in life a lot when I come across something I don't understand. My dad taught me to be involved in my community. I have let him down there. I must reconnect to family and community. He taught me to accept those things you can't change. I was never the football star and the jock. But I was pretty good in high school band and Boy Scouts. Dad changed his dreams of a star athlete son to fit the person I am. I know that and love him for it. He is the reason I will always have a pet. Preferably a dog. He taught me how to spoil a dog with cheese and leftovers. He taught me how to cook breakfast. He always kept a larder of food holed up in the cupboards and the freezer. That is a lesson I keep and apply today. I shall never starve because of the lessons of my father. He taught me to hunt deer and I still remember a rather uncomfortable lesson on how to gut and dress a freshly killed deer in the field. There is no joy in the killing of an animal but there is responsibility in the hunt and gather. A lesson passed on from father to son. We made and flew a kite once. I keep a kite in the trunk of my car. You never know when . . . We were out on the back patio once, drinking a beer, looking at the garden (we did that a lot) and cooking steaks on the grill. "The trick is the low temperature. You can't rush things." I tried to learn carpentry and woodwork from him. But it wasn't to be. We were not patient with each other in the wood shop. There are somethings a man must do alone by himself. With my dad that was making sawdust in the garage. You can never have too many bungy cords. There is always a reason to go the store to buy a part. Life can be solved with the right tool. If you don't have the tool, go to the hardware store and buy it. Buy mother a very nice, surprise Christmas present and sneak it home the last minute on Christmas eve. (She was always surprised.) Love your sister. Wood glue, duct tape and a hammer are very, very, very important. Don't punch your fist in the wall and break it. Remember to move the snow blower out of the driveway (see the fist lesson above.) Buy a lotto ticket. "You can't win if you don't play." I wear a ring of his on my finger and glance down at it and think of him. My mother has remarried and quickly moved on with her life. She can't loose time, she says and is determined to be happy - and I am so very happy for her. Since his death, my life has been pretty much on hold. I lost a job, an apartment, a grandmother, an uncle, a dog and a cat since that time. It is my turn for lessons. I have no children of my own yet. And perhaps I never will. I am pretty selfish on how I spend my time. I didn't learn that from my parents. But I have rolled up my sleeves and decided to keep showing him what I can do. A growing to-do list of things to accomplish. He told me once he does what he does for himself, in order to have a sense of accomplishment at the end of the day. I can live with that. And through this, I am becoming happy again. I haven't lost anything really. I have most of those material things back - an apartment, a cat, a job. And part of living is what is left behind and I still have parts of grandmother with me. And I will also have parts of my dad. Happy Birthday, Pop.

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    Thursday, July 17, 2003

    Lyttle Lytton Is Back

    I have been re-reading It Was A Dark And Stomy Night at work this week, a collection of the entries in the annual Bulwer-Lytton contest where writers must submit the first sentence of a bad novel never written. And as I was reading, I was reminded of the Lyttle Lytton contest in which entrants were challenged to craft a sentence of less than 25 words as the first line of a novel not yet written. Ah, the joy of the well cast sentence - or the opposite, the joy of a poorly cast pun. Take a bit and read the entries for 2000, 2001 as well. Brevity makes for better jokes. Readerville does something similar in their forum about books that never were.

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    The Dog Ate Mother's Toes

    Dave Berry has created some fun before running off on vacation. Writing under the name Freemont A. Harkins, he has posted a short ditty at www.Poetry.com that includes the line "the dog ate mother's toes." And before heading to one of the square states for his vacation, he challenges his readers to craft poems using the first name Freemont as well and to also include the line " the dog ate mother's toes." And, as they say, hilarity ensues. So, to get inspired, go to www.poetry.com and then enter the first name Freemont in the search window, get some ideas and see what happens. Then, take fingers to keyboard and craft a ditty. To copy the idea, I am going to use the first name Bethany and include the line "how cute is that!" and craft a ditty or two as well. Those who know Bethany should post as well. Post a poem over there and then tell us about it over here in the "Shoutbox" on the right.

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    Tuesday, July 15, 2003

    Most Disturbing Hobby Of The Day

    This was odd - And only in Las Vegas. Apparently a paint ball game park owner has decided to take "The Most Dangerous Game", add naked women and paintball and is raking in the money. I am a bit dismayed at the idea, although everyone signs up voluntarily - the men in their paramilitary garb and women in their - well, in nothing, running naked through the desert hoping not to get shot. Vid link of the game: (Not Safe For Work - naked women) Naked Women Under The Gun And at the bottom of page - video link from the Las Vegas news channel. via Metafilter

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    Saturday, July 12, 2003

    How The Economy Works

    Well, finally, someone has taken the time to explain to me this economic conundurm - and laid a way to measure whether the Bush tax strategy and economic plan is successful. How to gauge a jobless recovery: According to the Economic Policy Institute, "every citizen can grade the Bush policy by checking the nonfarm payroll employment series each month. Any month that adds at least 344,000 jobs to the economy can be marked a success. And every month payrolls grow by less than 257,000 jobs, the policy is generating fewer jobs than would have been created without the 'jobs and growth' plan." So, check the monthly figures, check for a net increase in employment and you can tell whether we are gaining ground or losing ground under Bush. More included in their White Paper on the subject, "Jobless Recovery Stifles Growth." By the way, we are losing ground. via Altercation

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    Friday, July 11, 2003

    Friday Fives

    1. Do you remember your first best friend? Who was it? This is a very hard question. My mom babysat any and all kids in the neighborhood, and there were always tons of cousins and neighbors around the house. In kindergarten and first grade my best friend was Clancy Kingsbury, who moved to Rapid City, SD when we were in 8th grade. But we were virtually inseparable until then.

    2. Are you still in touch with this person? I talked with him once since that time. So, no.

    3. Do you have a current close friend? Again, a very hard question. I am still close to many of my college friends and have good number of work friends that I am close to. But Ed and my sister Julz are at the top of the close friend chart. Our close knit trio is more than family.

    4. How did you become friends with this person? My sister and Ed went to kindergarten together and they have known each other forever. Julie insisted that Ed and I become friends and since then, we have. It is good to have a weekend beer drinking buddy to go carousing with. We have a similar outrageous sense of humor and laugh at each other's jokes and banter.

    5. Is there a friend from your past that you wish you were still in contact with? Why? I have lost contact with most of my Army buddies and would like to drop in on them and catch up. Because we were stationed in Germany, miles away from home, we had very close, deep friendships and I would like to bring them back into my life.

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    Thursday, July 10, 2003

    Super Pong

    Japanese Kubuki puppet theater thing meets Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon/Matrix thing, meets high tech Ping Pong thing. This is a funny, funny video. You may have to watch it twice to get the full effect. Enjoy

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    Tuesday, July 08, 2003

    The Chords Cannot Be Played

    As I announced a few months back, I am trying to learn the guitar. And I must say, unequivocally that D7 cannot be played. At all. Ever. I understand that it is a basic chord and that there are amazing fretboard gymnastic feats to come. But at present this is my stumbling block. I despise you, D7, yes, yes I do.

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    Saturday, July 05, 2003

    Has She No Shame

    A new book by Ann Coulter is bound to raise the hair on the back of your neck. Currently tracking number two on the Amazon best seller list and a New York Times bestseller, Treason, is her newest book where she lauds the efforts of Joesph McCarthy and challenges the patriotism and loyalty of anyone who dares have an opinion different then hers. In this Salon article, Joe Connason takes her to task. And of course, Coulter's arch nemesis Eric Alterman has also taken her to task adding his best quote to date: "I try to avoid the words 'Ann Coulter'.” This woman is dangerous because people will read this book and then believe her. Believe her when she calls Truman a pinko communist sympathizer. They will believe her when she says that George Marshall was working for the communists in Europe after the war. And believe her when she builds her case defending McCarthy and how all the bad press he received was a treasonous liberal plot. The list goes on an on. I intend to read the book, but not until it shows up at a used bookstore so that I don't have to give her any money to hear her highly incendiary opinions on how the world should be run.

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    Friday, July 04, 2003

    Friday Fives

    1. What were your favorite childhood stories? Cowboy Sam and his Airplane, a series of children's chapter books where Sam and his Indian friend would fly around the American West and help people. I remember there being a strong conservation theme to the stories.

    2. What books from your childhood would you like to share with [your] children? Sendak's Where the Wild Things Are and McKloskey's Make way for Ducklings - the images from these two books have stayed with me all my life. Second tier choices would be Encylopedia Brown, the young adult biography series and Curious George.

    3. Have you re-read any of those childhood stories and been surprised by anything? Where the Wild Things Are. What a funny, fabulous book. It has such an uplifting message about the power of imagination. "Let the wild rumpus start!" I appreciate this more now, as a supposed grownup then I did as a child. Max is inspired.

    4. How old were you when you first learned to read? We didn't have the most progressive school system and heck it was the early 70s before a lot of education reform. I didn't learn to read until the first grade, which is what, six years old? That is years behind in today's world.

    5. Do you remember the first 'grown-up' book you read? How old were you? Dune by Frank Herbert. Probably seventh grade so I would say 12 years old, maybe. In the meantime, I read almost all of the encylcopedia and have always loved reading short stories. I read a few collections very early on as well as read some Reader's Digest Condensed Books that my Grandmother collected, but I can't remember the stories. I really think I just carried the books around to look important. I am sure I wasn't allowed to read Harold Robbins as a fifth or sixth grader.

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    Thursday, July 03, 2003

    Or Here.

    Nothing to see, move along.

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    Don' t Go Here

    Wild Stuff. I told you not to go there.

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